The Irish wake: Celebrating life through unique traditions

Céad Míle Fáilte – and welcome to your Letter from Ireland for this week. Autumn is colouring the landscape all around us here in County Cork, and the roads are busy with tractors as farmers bring home the last of their harvest. While summer grass is finally easing its growth, it’s going to be quite a while before the cows need to retreat indoors for the winter. A lovely time of year! How are things in your part of the world today?

I’m sipping on a cup of Lyons’ tea as I write, and I hope you’ll join me with whatever you fancy as we start into today’s letter. We’re enjoying a visit from our daughter and baby grandchild at the moment – it’s great to be reminded of the energy of the young! However, today I want to share an aspect of Irish culture from the other end of life: the Irish Wake. It’s a tradition that perfectly encapsulates the Irish spirit – providing a beautiful blend of sorrow and joy, tears and many moments of black humour!

Celebrating Life: The Unique Traditions of the Irish Wake.

Earlier this month, I received the following message from Siobhán:

“Hi Mike, I recently attended my first Irish wake while visiting family in County Mayo. It was such a unique experience – so different from the funerals I’m used to here in Canada. There was sadness, of course, but also laughter and lots of storytelling. I’d love to learn more about the traditions behind the Irish wake when you have some time. Thanks for your wonderful letters! Siobhán.”

What a timely question, Siobhán – and what a great experience to have on your trip to Ireland! As you found out, an Irish wake is typically not a sombre affair; but a celebration of a life and a farewell party for the deceased. We gather to mourn our loss and to honour a life well-lived. This tradition is deeply rooted in our history and (thankfully) continues to play a role in how we cope with death.

Traditions That Bridge Past and Present.

Picture this: a house transformed into a gathering place for friends, family, and even strangers. The atmosphere is a mix of respectful solemnity and warmth. In the “wake room”, you’ll find the deceased laid out, often in an open coffin. But don’t let that fool you – the mood isn’t entirely sombre.

The rest of the house buzzes with activity. The kettle’s always on, whiskey flows freely, and the air is thick with the smell of home-cooked food – both hand-delivered and hand-cooked. It’s as if the whole community has come together under one roof, united in a desire to support the bereaved family and pay their respects to the departed.

What truly sets an Irish wake apart are its unique customs. Storytelling is at the heart of it all. People gather in small groups, sharing memories and anecdotes about the deceased. Laughter often mingles with tears as funny stories are recounted alongside poignant memories.

Music, too, often plays a crucial role. Traditional Irish ballads and the deceased’s favourite songs might be sung at the appropriate time, sometimes lasting into the wee hours of the morning. It’s not uncommon to see people playing cards or other games – a tradition that goes back to keeping vigil (the word “wake” is equivalent to vigil) over the body.

Attending My First Wake.

I vividly remember my first adult experience of an Irish wake – it was for my grandmother, Nana Collins. The wake was held in her farmhouse, a place where she’d lived since her marriage. As I approached, I could hear the low hum of conversation and quiet laughter drifting from the open windows.

Inside, the house was packed. In the front room, Nana Collins lay peacefully in her open coffin, looking as if she might be taking a momentary nap. People moved in, and then moved on, some kneeled to say a quiet prayer while others stood in respectful silence for a few moments.

In the kitchen, it was a different world. My Aunts, their daughters and neighbours were at the centre of it all, simultaneously grieving and hosting. They moved from person to person, offering tea and sandwiches, accepting condolences with grace. I watched as they shared many the laugh with Nana’s old friends over a story of her more youthful escapades.

As night fell, someone brought out an accordion. Soon, the house was filled with the sweet strains of Nana’s favourite tunes and songs. Voices joined in, filled with emotion, most strong and clear. It was a beautiful moment, a perfect encapsulation of the Irish wake – a time of love, remembrance, and celebration.

A Celebration of Life.

While there’s no denying the sadness that lies across a wake, it’s tied together with a vital thread of celebration. We Irish believe in sending our loved ones off in a proper manner – honouring their memory and affirming life in the face of death.

This balance of sorrow and joy is what makes the Irish wake so unique. It provides a space for grieving, yes, but also for assurance. It allows us to come together as a community, to support one another, and to find comfort in shared memories and traditions. 

As times change, so too do some aspects of the wake. In towns and cities, they might be shorter or held in funeral homes. But the essence remains the same – a time to gather, to remember, and to celebrate a life well-lived.

The Irish wake is more than just a funeral tradition. It’s a testament to a culture’s resilience, an ability to find joy even in sorrow, and our deep-seated belief in the power of community. It’s a reminder that even in death, we must celebrate life.

Thanks to Siobhán for bringing up the always fascinating subject of the Irish Wake.

How about the rest of our readers – have you ever been to an Irish Wake? Do let me know in the comments section below or send me an email.

That’s it for this week,

Slán for now,

Mike.